Heavenly Father,
Bless us with an abundance of priests, deacons, brothers, and sisters. May there always be enough Redemptorists to preach Your good news to the most abandoned. Give those you have called to married life and those You have chosen to live as single persons in the world the special graces that they need.
And Lord, help me to know and live my vocation. I ask this through Jesus, our Lord, and Mary, our Mother of Perpetual Help.
Amen.
My parish begins each Mass with this prayer: a prayer for Redemptorists vocations. We have been a Redemptorist (C.SS.R.) parish since our first Mass was offered in 1950, and we have been offering up this prayer for vocations since the 1970s. But by the time you read this posting, we will have recited this prayer during Mass for the final time.
For decades, we have prayed for an abundance of priests, all while we watched the number of active priests decline. For the past few years, we have stretched our resources with fewer priests and more families. But by last summer, we knew. The change was coming.
When the Redemptorists decided in December to recall their priests, turning over management of our parish to the local diocese, our parish felt the shock immediately. Yet, it wasn’t until these past few weeks that the reality of it all set in: new Mass times, new priests, new organizational structures. The man who baptized my daughter will no longer lead our Mass on Sundays. The man whose life’s story caused me to become a stronger Christian will no longer live down the street. The leaders that I always thought would be my mentors and my guides will be absent. Add that to the new liturgy that we are all preparing for, and the change is overwhelming.
Deep breath.
I recently asked Father why they were leaving, why now. I knew the “face-value” answer: there aren’t enough priests. But there has to be more, right? He looked at me and said, “What would you do if your only son walked up to you tomorrow and announced that he was joining the priesthood? Could you support him in that life decision?” He knew my background, and his question hit me hard.
Father joined the priesthood in Scotland over 50 years ago. He was one of eleven children. Two of his brothers also became priests, and one of his sisters is a Dominican nun. His story is the story of a generation: large Catholic families with multiple children choosing to take holy vows. But what is the story of our generation?
These days, Catholic (and all other) families are growing smaller. Most families in my parish have only two or three children. Even when I was younger, my mother’s five children stood out during services. Gone are the days when Catholic families routinely contained eight or ten children. So when parents today are faced with the idea that one of their (two) children plans to join the Holy Order, the initial reaction is to recoil.
But to live with no children? To live without marriage? To devote your life to God? To be separated from me for so long? I could never deal with it. How could you? I heard these once…while I was discerning my own vocation. And even though I tell myself I would never say those words to my children, I sometimes find myself caught up in the fear of the unknown.
Nearly 85% of young people say that they have never considered taking Holy Order or becoming a nun. Additionally, over 60% of men who are discerning vocations say they were discouraged from becoming a priest, usually by a parent or family member. We pray for an abundance of priests and sisters, while also discouraging our own children from becoming them. It’s not always direct. Sometimes, we let our personal fears overwhelm us. They flow out of us through our words and actions, planting destructive seeds of doubt in our children or friends.
As parents, it hard to let our children “go” down a path that we cannot follow. But we need to learn to be like Hannah, the mother of Samuel. Hannah wasn’t guaranteed another child after Samuel, nor was she promised another day in his presence, yet she still left him at the temple with Eli. She gave Samuel up to the service of God. We, too, need to learn to give up our children to the High Priest, no matter how difficult it may be for us. We need to trust in God and in His ability to see the larger picture.
Our culture has changed. Our family structures have changed. But if I truly mean the words that I pray, I need to be willing to let my children become the tools of God. My attitude, my focus, needs to change.
Melissa can be found blogging at And Baby Makes Three…
Melissa, thank you so much for this post, it is very timely for me. My oldest son of five children will be a senior in high school this year and has been discerning a call to the priesthood since he was in the 5th grade. I write about it quite a bit on my blog, as does he on his blog. I am working to organize the mothers of those discerning and those in seminary at St. Francis de Sales Seminary in Milwaukee so that we can support one another through these difficult questions. We will be meeting for the first time on August 19th. Please keep us in your prayers. You may be interested in John’s blog, his friend Kenny’s blog and my most recent post about parenting a vocation.
http://writingsofaboydiscerninggodscall.blogspot.com/
http://godalonesufficeth.wordpress.com/
http://annebender.blogspot.com/2011/07/raising-vocation.html
There is a young man in England, John Howard, who has created a beautiful international website called “A Vocation to be a Priest” which has offered tremendous help and support to young men who are considering the priesthood. My son is the general editor for this site. Please visit and encourage others to do so as well!
http://www.catholicpriest.me.uk/
I also love the picture you’ve posted with this-the Handmaids of the Precious Blood devote their entire lives to praying for priests-what a beautiful calling!
Please keep my son, his friend Kenny, John Howard and all young men who are discerning a call to the priesthood, as well as their families, in your prayers and be assured that I will be praying for you and your family as well!
I have prayed ever since my boys were born that God would call one of them to the priesthood. But I know it’s more than that. I have to talk about it to them. But we talk all the time about “when you get married and have kids”–it flows so naturally in the conversation. And every time my husband says something like that, I want to add, “but you could also be a priest.” But I feel like that would be forcing the topic, and I don’t want my boys to think I WANT them to be a priest–I want them to be open to whatever vocation God has in mind for them. I really struggle with how to find the opportunities. They just don’t seem to be there the way marriage and parenthood lessons are.
You are so right. It is a struggle, and you don’t want to feel like you’re forcing the topic. However, it still is good to make those comments every once in a while. My husband and I openly talk to young children and youth (and our own daughter) about different vocations. We do make comments about how marriage isn’t the only option. We encourage the little comments that young people have about vocations.
The lessons aren’t there as often, but they are still there.
God gave us the gift of children. What better way to thank God, by raising that child and then giving them back to God?
I have four girls but I honestly thought the last one, born ten years apart from the third, was going to be a boy. I had promised God I would offer any boy child he gave me to the priesthood. After so long, I honestly thought he was answering that prayer. Nontheless, His will be done.. obviously He has a greater plan for my girls. I pray each day that they will glorify God in all that they do.
Even more of an opportunity to bless others and bless God!
As the mother of twin boys, I’ve thought about this often. We have a treasured priest who just left our parish, and I loved having my kids around him, because he was so approachable and REAL. Maybe this is my feeling from being an adult convert, but some priests seem untouchable. They need to be able to relate to families and young men, to offer the priestly vocation as a viable option.
I agree! The priest I spoke of above was just that way, which is probably why I appreciated him so much. I have met priests that are so “priestly” that it’s hard to remember they are human. I’ve also met priests who are willing to come out, play flag football, and eat around a bonfire with us. (Our priest in the Blue Ridge was famous for showing up to random cookouts in sweatpants and sandals…we loved it!)