“I don’t think preschool is necessary”. In theory, I agree with this statement, even though I dislike hearing it. It’s a broad enough (and vague enough) generalization that it would be hard to disagree with it. Preschool isn’t necessary. For every child. In every situation. It probably isn’t essential under most, if any, circumstances. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t beneficial for some children in some situations.
My son, who turned 3 last January, started preschool this past September, and attends two mornings/week. Many of the classroom activities are similar to things that I have done with him since he was around eighteen months old. We do crafts, painting, puzzles, boardgames, blocks, lots of books, playgroups, Story Hour at the library, etc. Which is probably why I am often confronted with the “I don’t think preschool is necessary” comment.
Technically, it’s true. Preschool isn’t essential to our situation. I work very part-time, when my husband is home, so I don’t have any need for daycare (and even if I did, the five hours/week that he attends wouldn’t go very far if that was my motivation for sending my son to preschool). I only have one child, so I’m not desperate for free time. (Even if I were, it really doesn’t provide much of a respite. Half the time I’m right there with him on field trips or volunteering in the classroom, and when I’m not, by the time I come back home and then head back out to pick him up, I only end up with a couple of hours to myself.)
Curriculum-wise, also, we could probably manage just fine without preschool. Even with his status as an only child, I could probably arrange enough social opportunities for my son without preschool.
My basic parenting philosophy is that for most children the ideal would be to spend most of their early years home with their parents, and to have a gradual transition from home to the outside world. (Again, I say MOST. I don’t believe that there is any one-size-fits all approach, and it is up to each family to discern what the best approach is for them. This is what we have discerned for our family.) The preschool that I have chosen shares my philosophy, and the amount of time he spends there fits in with my approach.
My primary reason for sending my son to preschool is that it’s fun! He has fun pretty much every where he goes; that’s just his personality. But for him to walk into an environment that is completely child-centered, with one station of another of interesting, age-appropriate and specially targeted toys, and child-size furniture galore, he might as well be walking into Disney Land. After half the school year has passed, he still has that response when he walks in the door.
I love the community activities that my son and I do together, and he definitely benefits from them. But they have their limits. They are usually crowded, and this can intimidate my son, who has a reserved nature. Being in a small preschool class and participating in group activities that are specifically targeted toward his developmental level has been a huge confidence-booster for him.
The final factor in my decision to send my son to preschool is socialization. Yes, I acknowledged earlier that we could probably manage socially without it. But it really helps. We don’t have any neighborhood friends. Our friends are a patchwork from various community activities, so he never sees consistent children on a consistent basis. This wouldn’t be as big an issue if he had siblings who he interacted with consistently, but since he’s an only child, I think he needs consistency in order to develop more meaningful friendships.
No, I don’t think preschool is necessary. I don’t question mothers who choose to forgo preschool (or even elementary school for that matter). I believe that life is the best classroom, and that can take many forms. But preschool does have its place and there are families, like mine, who benefit from it.
Claire is a regular writer for Catholic Mothers Online.
I agree with the “fun” aspect of pre-school, as well as the socialization (ok…socializing) aspect that prompted me to look into options in the first place. My daughter is an only child and loves being with other children. She has been in Pre-K (or should I say, pre-pre-K) since September. We are very fortunate to have access to a home-schooling co-op, so I am with her, and she is with children her age, as well as with older children who are like little guardian angels teaching and looking after her. A win-win. She loves it. I love it because I am seeing such positive results for her.
Chasing Grace, that sounds like an ideal arrangement (the homeschool co-op). I would love to be able to stay at preschool with my son. I do volunteer in his classroom on a regular basis, but I would love to do more. Although I will say that going without me has been a confidence-booster for him. But I would still rather be there most of the time.
I agree whole-heartedly. My firstborn was, well, a firstborn and he LOVED preschool. He did not need it, but he LOVED it and gained lots of confidence and friends. GREAT transition into kindergarten, where he went all day. My 2nd born son LOVES it and does not need it, but he is more shy around people he doesn’t know, so it’s also a great transition, I think, for when he starts kindergarten next year. I think it’s a WIN/WIN, but I have several homeschooling friends who would disagree. But, for us, and my social boys (I have 3), we LOVE preschool! It is unnecessary, but FUN!! Oh! And also the surprises (cards, paperweights, etc) that they bring home for mom and dad are truly so sweet!
Erika, the ironic thing is that I am seriously considering homeschooling when my son is in elementary school. (Our elementary school has a half-day kindergarten, so I thought I would try that out to get my feet wet, but we very well might end up homeschooling.) But for preschool I really wanted him to have this experience. Hopefully if we do end up homeschooling, the members of the homeschooling group will be okay with the fact that we decided to send him to preschool. There are so many different combinations of approaches to the whole education issue.
Hi, Claire. It feels like such a long time since I checked on you. He looks wonderful in the photo.
I completely agree with you on every count. In our home, we have a sibling and we have a neighborhood with other children with whom our little boy has now created friendships. (He has a best friend now, a little boy who moved down the street a few months ago.) He gets regular outings at which he may encounter the same children (library storytimes, the local playground, etc.) So, you are right, preschool is not necessary in our case. However, I do agree with you that it could be fun! We have not yet sent our little boy to preschool , though, as my husband likes having him in the home, close by, as he is concerned that regular preschool attendance and exposure to some other children will begin to erode his little innocence. I do see my husband’s point; we can’t control the behavior of the other children’s parents and how they are influencing their child to speak or conduct themselves. For OUR specific situation and for our son, I believe what we are doing is working, but I am open to sending him to preschool next September; he’ll be just past four by then. I’m not sure if my husband will agree; we will see. He says, “let’s keep him home and preserve his innocence as long as possible. He’s so sweet right now.” True. I do get torn on the issue at times, for our personal situation, I admit. My option for preschool is the local Catholic school — they have a preschool, and I do hope that at least those children’s parents are raising their child in a manner that we would find pleasing for our son.
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Hi Elizabeth, great to hear from you! I totally relate to your husband’s concern about the loss of innocence. I was very worried about this. Thankfully, so far it hasn’t been an issue. He goes to a Christian preschool (we couldn’t send him to a Catholic school because one only has a fulltime program and the other one was too expensive). I’m assuming the fact that it’s Christian has helped to limit the negative influences. It’s such a complex issue, and there are definitely not any easy answers.