During August, I took a substitute spot for someone at our parish’s Eucharistic Adoration.  After time in prayer and silence, I will often close my eyes and ask God to direct me to a Scripture passage for reading.  I am always amazed at how God speaks through Scripture and how I can usually find something in it that relates to my life now.

That particular time, the passage I found was Matthew 27: 3 – 10.

To save you time, here’s the passage from the New American Bible I was reading:

³ Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse and returned the thirty ^[a]pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, ⁴ saying, “I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? See to that yourself!” ⁵ And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and departed; and he went away and hanged himself. ⁶The chief priests took the pieces of silver and said, “It is not lawful to put them into the temple treasury, since it is the price of blood.” ⁷ And they conferred together and ^[b]with the money bought the Potter’s Field as a burial place for strangers. ⁸ For this reason that field has been called the Field of Blood to this day. ⁹ Then that which was spoken through Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: “AND^[c]THEY TOOK THE THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER, THE PRICE OF THE ONE WHOSE PRICE HAD BEEN SET by the sons of Israel; ¹⁰ AND ^[d]THEY GAVE THEM FOR THE POTTER’S FIELD, AS THE LORD DIRECTED ME.”

I usually apply the principles of Lectio Divina (shared about my training in Lectio Divina on my blog) when reading Scripture during Eucharistic Adoration.  The first time through I was thinking “What? How on earth does this passage so familiar from during Triduum relate to ME?”

It took several more readings (not just 3!) and time in prayer before I began to hear God speak.  And, I can’t say I exactly appreciated the message.  In a whisper, I also knew that I had to share what I heard.

The basic message was “Am I shirking my vocation(s) and in turn selling out Christ?”

For my life, I have a vocation as a mother to four boys and a wife to my husband.  As a homeschooler, I have a responsibility to educate my boys so they can become the young men I envision for them.  Each of these callings in my life have duties associated with them.  Some are fun (like going on adventures with my boys) and some hold little or no appeal (continually cleaning up after the boys!)

Thinking about recent events in my life, I saw times when those vocational responsibilities seemed like a burden.

• When working on my laptop with the toddler pulling on my arm for attention
• Not fully listening to my older boys when I was wanting to read messages from friends on Facebook or email
• Disappointment over my husband NOT deploying for the month of August as that meant my loss of freedom to do what I wanted at night with no guilt over ignoring my husband
• Spending time on blogging and review items instead of serious planning for the upcoming homeschool year

Now, I can’t say that those actions quite equate to that of Judas.  He is portrayed as the ultimate betrayer, accepting 30 pieces of silver for Christ’s ‘head’.  But, can’t our own actions have us betraying Christ’s love and consummate sacrifice for us?

As humans, we are all sinners and prone to hurt others while trying to ‘help’ ourselves.  I thank God that He is willing to forgive us our transgressions.  Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation,  we can experience His love and forgiveness.  And through the Eucharist, we can strengthen the Grace he extends to us to live the life He calls us to lead.  That call to reconciliation and seeking of His Grace can help us live our lives in the best way possible…glorifying HIS name & seeking the ultimate goal of eternal life with Him in Heaven.

I’ll leave you with some questions for reflection as they apply to family life.

• How do our actions hurt Christ?
• What can we do as individuals, a family and a community of believers to better live our lives as Christ taught?

Growing up as one of three sisters, Laura is continually challenged as she mothers four rambunctious boys.  She shares her adventure as a Catholic homeschooling mother to four boys and life up in Alaska at the family blog, Day by Day in Our World.