My mother is one of the most pro-life individuals that I have ever met. I’d venture to guess that she is one of the most pro-life individuals, period. That said, you won’t typically find her writing letters to her legislators. You won’t find her marching in Washington or praying at the Planned Parenthood clinics. No, while she fully appreciates and understands the importance of advocacy, she focuses her passion for life on the service foot of justice. You’ll most likely find her in her rocking chair, priming a feeding pump, or in a waiting room at a hospital or therapy clinic. My mother, recently 50 with 3 grown daughters, takes in at-risk foster infants.

The babies come to her in all forms. Her youngest was 29 weeks at birth and she spent countless hours rocking him in the NICU before he came home. Some are full term. Some babies were born to young mothers and fathers, some to older mothers and fathers. Some come to her on oxygen, some on feeding tubes, and some are going through drug withdrawal. Each one comes with a name, but is quickly nicknamed to protect their identity and my mom’s. Some go back to their parents and some are adopted by others. Some babies stay 2+ years and some just a few days.

We weren’t always a foster family. We were an average family with three daughters. My mother had always wanted more, but after some serious health diagnoses she accepted God’s plan for the 5 of us. A registered nurse turned stay-at-home mom, she kept her nursing license current “just in case”. Though she had always wanted to do foster care, my dad wasn’t so sure. In 2002, our parish hosted a ministry fair that included a local social service agency looking for foster and adoptive parents. My dad’s heart softened and God’s seed began to germinate. They began the preparation courses. After a cross-country move and a few less than Godly obstacles, they completed their licensure as foster parents.

A few short weeks before my departure for college our first little blessing arrived. Having been born at 29 weeks with what they would find later to be a hole in her heart, our little pixie arrived with an oxygen tank and heart monitor in tow. We all took turns getting up with her every 2 hours, coaxing her to eat an ounce or two of high calorie formula. We took turns sleeping in the guest bedroom listening to her rasping breaths and the beep of her heart monitor. After 2 and half years we all said a devastating goodbye as she took her Winnie the Pooh song and wispy smile to her forever family. Since then we have had more babies than you can count on both hands, each one with their own need, their own family, and their own lesson for us.

When this process began, I had my feelings of replacement and frustration. I was the first out of the house and even before I was gone there was someone there to take my place. That same little pixie, who to this day has a piece of my heart, took my mom away from me during a time of great transition to adulthood. The close relationship mom and I had built seemed, at best, an afterthought. It put a strain on my relationship with my dad who became the buffer for my frustration, and with my sister who has always been my mom’s ultimate champion.

As the years have passed and my own family has grown, I have been in a constant process of prayer and conversion. God offers me the patience and grace I need to know that this is what the example of Jesus and the sacrament of the Eucharist is all about. While I can’t honestly write that I am on board with the choice and its implications all the time, I know that something that requires this much love and this much sacrifice must be a call from God. While I selfishly worry about my children’s grandparents and the time they have to spend with them and with each other, I trust that Mom and Dad are in constant discernment. I know that as God calls them to this, He also provides the time and nourishment they need to be sustained in their vocation.

I have been a foster sister for nearly 10 years. In fact, this whole process has made me a sister again to my 5-year-old brother, Matthew Soren, who they adopted about 4 years ago. He was the 29-week-old baby who my mother rocked for so many weeks in the hospital. Today, I am so blessed to say that my children will never know a limited definition of family. One of my son’s first words was the name of my mom’s most recent baby followed by “CUTE!” Clara has been known to try to pull babies’ “stickers” off when they are supposed to be holding their oxygen tube in their nose. John Ross basically has the coolest uncle in the world because they are only about 3 years apart. He gets all of his old clothes and toys and gets to learn all the cool boy stuff from him and Grandpa. For now, family life will be the controlled chaos of 3-5 children 5 and under at any given family event. In a few years, it will be caring for Kevin’s aging parents. In hopefully many more years, it will be the care for my parents as they age.

Family life is not just about families with small children or families with children at all. Moreover, pro-life isn’t just about birth and natural death. Exemplified by their grandmother’s sacrifice, pro-life to my children will always be the dignity and care deserved by every human from pre-conception THROUGH natural death. While my children may find their passion in the political process, they will always have the perspective of the faces the process is meant to protect and serve. There are no words big enough to thank my mother for that gift.

However long they stay, our foster babies leave an indelible print on our hearts. On the wall going up the stairs of mom and dad’s home are photos of each of my siblings that were taken shortly before they left us. As we wonder how many more times Mom can stand to say goodbye, she reminds us as she looks through the tears that no matter where their lives take them they had a good start. And somewhere, deep inside, they will always know that they are Loved.

Amberly can be found writing at Woman at the Inkwell.

Related posts:

1. How To Be An Active Pro-Life Mom
2. Ebooks to Help Simplify Your Family Life
3. I do it for LIFE
4. Our Prayers Are With The Barrett Family
5. Catholic Business Spotlight: Hair Bows 4 Life