Remember the classic 1940 Cary Grant film “His Girl Friday”? Remember the scene where reporter Hilde is trying to leave with her fiancé to get married and she hears the fire bell and can’t stop herself from supposing about the story? She’s in love with her work, has a true passion for her gift and will jump at any chance to use it. Oddly, Hilde’s goal throughout the entire film is to “leave the business” and “start a real life”.
I fancy myself God’s girl-Friday. I work in a Catholic parish as the member of the pastoral staff doing all the little things that help our community reflect God’s light, love and life. My title is unimportant to this task as I meet any assortment of needs that stem from our values of hospitality, worship, formation, service, community and gratitude. I am passionate about my work and feel truly called and gifted in my role.
As a working mama, the tasks of my vocation of wife and mother of two are no less important, no less necessary, and no less demanding than my day job. I just have to be more discerning and more efficient in my work. I write from the distinct perspective of a woman who works outside the home, but many mamas are busy with work from the home and busy with the work of educating their families.
As women, God has given us such varied and powerful gifts for receiving and caring for the world around us. However, as the world’s girl-Fridays, it can be difficult to maintain a healthy and holistic life. I specifically don’t use the word “balance” here because that implies separate aspects of life that require weighing. I believe that our life exists as a whole, like a garden plot with different plants. There are different needs and harvests at different times, but the garden must be tended as a whole.
How do I stay healthy and whole with God at the center? Here are my guidelines and hopefully you’ll find one of them helpful. None of them are hard and fast at our house because some days are just better than others.
- I get up one-half hour before my children. I drink my coffee and watch the morning news. It helps me greet the day with a “Good Morning God!” instead of the “Good god, morning…” I had been susceptible to when I waited to rise until they began to stir.
- I set a schedule and keep a calendar. End of day means ends of day. The deadline for scheduling an evening meeting is one week prior. Here’s my favorite calendar. It’s small enough to fit easily in my purse, sturdy enough to withstand dinged corners, and offers lots of space for writing (unless you’re a big family mama…I’ve only got 4 schedules to contend with right now). It’s runs July to July so it runs with the school year which also happens to be the parish year. It’s not the prettiest, but add a marker ribbon and a sticker or two and you’re all set. Not to mention, the price is right.
- Dinner will always be on the table. I go to great lengths to ensure that the dinner meal is ready to be served at the family table every night. It might be a crock-pot meal, frozen lasagna, or even a pizza (gasp!), but we will sit down, feast, and end our day as a family. Since it doesn’t happen without a bit of planning, here is a link to one of my weekly menus.
- In the example of the great graces of God, I allow myself grace when things don’t get done. I remind myself that when the dishes need to be done that God will meet me at the sink. ALL the work that I do is God’s work and I do my best to bless it and make it holy. Did you know that the Our Father is the perfect doctor-recommended length for hand washing? With two under 2, we get a lot of prayer time at our house.
- I make time for prayer and ask God for patience. Certainly, one may argue that this item should have come first, but in honesty, it does not always. My favorite form of prayer as a busy mama is the Ignatian Examen which often shortens itself in the few precious moments before my head hits the pillow to “Lord, today I am most grateful for…”
Without spoiling the plot, Hilde eventually accepts her gift the way it is. While not a perfect metaphor, we are all God’s girl Friday. We listen for our call and strive daily to generously use God’s gifts. In my case that means finding joy and fulfillment in the two things I am most passionate about: my faith AND my family.
Amberly can be found writing at Woman at the Inkwell.
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Your job sounds great, Amberly! And, you and I use the same calendar!
I love this: “I specifically don’t use the word “balance” here because that implies separate aspects of life that require weighing. I believe that our life exists as a whole…”
This is such a good way to look at this. I am one of those work-at-home mamas–currently struggling with a toddler…realizing I’ve never had a “real” toddler before LOL…and trying to meet four writing deadlines in the next ten days. I love this thought, that it’s not about balancing things that are in conflict with each other; it’s about a whole life with different facets. Just beautiful.
I enjoyed reading your perspective. I keep meaning to write about this topic myself. There are not a lot of Catholic resources (online or otherwise) to help us working moms. I am so grateful to my husband who is the biggest help-mate ever.
I am about to give birth to our fifth blessing. I have always worked full-time outside the home while we’ve grown our family. However, I do not have a flexible work environment in my industry. While I hope to address this in the next year or so (find something more flexible even if it means less pay) since my children are getting older and it’s getting far more difficult to mother them the way I feel I need to and work full-time. But anyway…keeping God at the center is so important and necessary to keep our sanity. Thanks for the tip about the Our Father! What a great way to ensure hand-washing is done appropriately AND get prayer in!
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I start my day similarly, but I try to fit my rosary in first thing, right after putting the dog out in the yard and moving the bird from his night perch to the big cage, and starting the coffee pot, and heating water to warm the little tiger’s bottle–so I then do my indoor bike and my rosary together and my whole day runs better that way.
I like your calendar, mine is a bit larger but serves much the same purposes.
I tried a computer program for scheduling and it simply wasn’t right for us–or perhaps it is my lack of tech savvy. Either way a calendar sure does make a big difference.
I also love that you get dinner on the table–these busy days that can be a major accomplishment all by itself!
We love our crock pot. I also do batch cooking and freeze a lot. The microwave for re-heating is used so much we have two stacked one on top of the other. LOL! I prefer the stove but the microwave puts much less heat into the house and we live in the hot humid south.
Nice blog!