In my last post, I mentioned the impact that the book Simplicity Parenting, by Kim John Payne,  has had on my parenting  journey, in terms of striving to avoid the trap of over scheduling structured activities for my preschool age son.  Another principle of this book which I completely agree with, but which has been an ongoing challenge to implement, is the concept of less is more when it comes to toys.

Long before I read Simplicity Parenting, I knew that I didn’t want my house to be bursting at the seams with toys. I have a small house, and I don’t find clutter to be conducive to a peaceful family home.  I also think that kids get overwhelmed when they have too many toys, and play less productively and with a shorter attention span when they have too many choices.  Furthermore, I think that when they are inundated with gifts, they become less appreciative.

Given my conviction that less is more when it comes to toys, which was further reinforced in Simplicity Parenting, I never imagined that I would struggle so much to put this principle into practice.  But once again, motherhood has its way of humbling me into realizing that ideals are often easier said than done!

While I want my son to live in an uncluttered environment with simple, basic, open-ended toys, it is hard to resist the multitude of educational toys that I feel are beneficial to his development.  When making decisions about toy purchases, it is a constant struggle to balance his developmental needs vs. his need for simplicity.  This is further complicated by the endless gifts that pour in from extended family (something I never dreamed would be a problem, as I have a small family).

For my son’s first two Christmases (when he was 11 months old and 23 months old), he was very overwhelmed by all the gifts.  He would unwrap one present and want us to put it together immediately and show him how it worked, and then he would want to play with it rather than opening the next gift.  It was overwhelming for me as a mother, and I was happy that my son wasn’t rushing through the process, anxious to move on to the next present.  I learned the hard way to severely limit the amount of gifts I got for him, knowing that he would get more than enough from others.

Fast forward to Christmas of 2010, when my son was almost 3.  I had implored my relatives to limit their gifts to one per person, and all I got for my son was a few stocking stuffers.  However, he still ended up with a pile of gifts.  Much to my dismay, when he had opened everything, he asked for “more presents.”  This upset me greatly, because I had been so grateful that he was not the type of child who asked me to buy him things, and he had always been excited and content with very few gifts.  I had worked really hard to help him enjoy holidays such as 4th of July that didn’t involve presents, so that he would learn that it is possible to have a fun celebration without gifts.

My son’s birthday was 2 weeks after Christmas, and I successfully convinced all our guests that the only present we desired at his party was their presence.  My family, having seen how upset I was with the Christmas incident, were very cooperative and each relative got him just one gift, selected based on my suggestions of things that I thought were developmentally beneficial.  He had a great time at his party, and was very grateful for the one gift that he opened after eating his cake.  (This also made the party much more enjoyable for our guests, as the unwrapping process was short and simple.)

I’m sure that this issue will continue to be a work in progress throughout my son’s childhood, as I strive to foster productive play and a spirit of gratitude that is facilitated by the ideal of less is more.  But I see my efforts paying off, and I am convinced that if I keep plugging along, for the most part I’ll be happy with the result.

Claire is a regular writer at Catholic Mothers Online.

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