Black cats symbolize fear to some. This cutie is one of ours. Her name is Cookie.

Whether we are in a recession or depression, recovering, or just how our economic times are to be defined, I am uncertain.  All I know is my family has never had it so hard, and most of the families of my acquaintance would agree.

Five years ago, the week my mother died, my husband took his first pay cut.  This was an across-the-board measure to save the manufacturing plant.  He started a nationwide search for a job.  He had interviews in six different states through out the Midwest, the Northeast, and the South. There were more pay cuts.  Numbering in the tens of thousands of dollars. Then he was laid off so his job could be sent to Singapore, along with the 700+ other jobs where he had been employed.  He is still looking for a job.  It has been thirteen months since he was laid off.  I know he is not alone. This is a very frightening thing.

Meanwhile, I as a homeschooling mother of six, took on multiple part-time jobs to help out.  But homeschooling suffered, and I burned out.  I dropped down to two part-time jobs and started taking classes online so I can work from home. But my meager paychecks, combined with his unemployment did not pay the bills.  Not the mortgage.

We got down to bare minimums.

Minimums which should not have to be endured. And my husband, who worked over 22 years for the same company, paid his taxes, and contributed to all of our state programs all those years, could not get assistance when needed. He was still looking for a job this whole time.  He retrained.  The bills piled up. I kept working. Then the earth-shattering, rock-our-world news was delivered last Friday.  Our home will be auctioned in a foreclosure proceeding on September 17th.  Exactly three weeks from the date we were notified. The word FEAR does not begin to cover how we felt. Numb is another adjective that applies.

When my children are upset I am fond of saying, “It is what it is, accept it and move on.” Well isn’t that easier said than done?  We have had much support, and offers of places to stay.  Honestly, with eight of us, and homeschooling, how thrilled would you be to have us as extended house guests?

Once I had a couple of days to think, and my wonderful sister and brother-in-law came to collect my children so we could lay plans, I realized that my fear is paralyzing.

How can you make plans while afraid?

And what is fear?  It is a temptation.  How easy it is to wallow in fear and self pity rather than react and keep the faith that God will provide. I know this in my heart. I need to replace that fear with faith and trust in God.  I need to pray my rosary and ask the Blessed Mother to intercede on my behalf, to help me to let go of that fear and figure out just what to do.  She knows a mother’s heart, and she has always provided me with comfort when I needed it.  Faith will conquer fear, if only we allow it to.

Since letting go and giving my worries up to the Blessed Mother and to God, I have already come up with some options.

Nothing is set, but my heart is calmer, and my fears are lessening. Faith will lead me to rationality, and to answers.

I know we will be fine.

You can read more about Lily at Never Fading Wood which is her home on the net.  You can also email thorns dot lily at  gmail dot com.

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